On Saturday it was my birthday. I got lots of awesome stuff. The people that came were Holly, Amelia, Rosie, Lydia and Boyd. It was really fun. First we had a party in my room with music. We had a teddy fight. I got hit in the face with one of the soft toys. When we had done that we walked excitedly outside to have some Delicious food. There was lots and lots of yummy lollies and food. Amelia, Rosie and Lydia put lots and lots of lollies in their drinks...YUCKY. We went to inside rock climbing in Nelson. I almost got to the top of the really high wobbly ladder. Dad got to the top of the other really high one and beeped the horn up the top. We had to leave at about 3.00. Everybody had to go home except for Holly because she was coming for a sleep over at our house. We stole a packet of lollies that she gave me. We watched Finding Nemo on the DVD player that I got...But soon it ran out of batteries so we had to go to the comfy bed.
Monday, 12 August 2013
My awesome birthday By Mia
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You have had a great birthday party Mia. I like the descriptive language you have used, the different sentence starters, and and I like the punctuation you have used for effect. You have a beginning, middle and end in your story so your next step could be to paragraph these- the party- the trip to rock climbing-Holly staying.
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